Guest Column: Issue #4

A World of nice:
A Guide on Etiquette for Children
Featuring Five Tips for Children
By Simi Ranajee

Have you ever wondered when you see a group of kids sitting in a circle together what compels them to be texting other people (or each other) on their phones instead  of having a conversation? What happened to enjoying each other’s company? In today’s world of Twitter, Facebook, Flickr, etc., there are so many vehicles of communication that the art and ability to socialize in person is becoming a lost art or obsolete.

Simi Ranajee Simiranjee@aol.com

Social networks have many benefits. Schools are adapting their safe versions of these tools, and from a business perspective there are many advantages to utilizing such networks. However, as easy as these applications are for the various audiences, the inability to experience the body language, expressions, or voice intonations of the other party often contributes to misunderstanding and confusion. Also, in the “real world,” transitioning from an online conversation or communication to a live, one-on-one exchange can be quite challenging. This transition is almost like entering another culture.

When a child leaves an online social situation and enters an in-person one, the rules change. This same dynamics apply when a child comes from a different country with different rituals, food, and language. How do we maintain this skill set but allow children to understand that there is appropriate (and inappropriate) behavior for each situation and that cultures do vary?

For example: In some countries, children do not use silverware (utensils) to eat. They may use their hands, chopsticks or other methods to get food from plate to palate. By showing children the proper way to place and use their knife, fork and spoon as well as correct napkin etiquette, their comfort level in a new environment (or culture) increases.

The educational component for soft skills in children is becoming more and more critical. As parents, we want our children to be exposed to many different skill sets that will help them today and in the future. Core learning such as reading, writing, and arithmetic are necessary tools for life, but soft skills such as etiquette, manners, and protocol knowledge can define an individual. These life skills will increase personal awareness and create an understanding of the impact of such things as body language, eye contact, the ability to introduce oneself, and making others feel comfortable. This instruction is more than just conduct driven. Knowing what utensil to use or making eye contact when speaking, for example, help enable a child to build confidence and self-esteem and to be happy and secure. 

Five Tips for Children during the holidays Basic introduction: Learn how to say your name so that others easily understand it. For example, say your first name, pause slightly, and then say your last name. Make eye contact when speaking and listening. Use your manners, say: Please, Thank You, and Excuse Me when necessary. At meal time always pass to the right to maintain continuity. Basic table setting utensils are placed in alphabetical order: fork (plate), knife, spoon.

Reinforcement provides the highest form of retention, and the more these skills are practiced at home, the more our children can benefit and become self-confident individuals and feelings of vulnerability that are common in all of us are alleviated. By learning these skills ourselves and enforcing them in our children we all can benefit.

Class Offering and Testimonial:

Common Threads' quarterly etiquette offerings help children eight to twelve years old pick up formal dining pointers such as how to overcome shyness, sitting up straight at the table, and even knowing when it's acceptable to eat with your hands. Simi is the epitome of grace and loveliness and really knows how to connect with the kids to make them feel comfortable and empowered. 

As Simi says, "making others comfortable around you is essentially the meaning of etiquette." Simi has helped us craft a beautiful curriculum for a perfectly structured two hour, four-course meal. The goal is to empower children with knowledge; when they are comfortable in their own skin, they can make others more comfortable, too. The kids get a kick out of the white tablecloth experience and dressing in their best, and the lessons tend to stick with them. Style and grace are certainly skills that last a lifetime.
─Linda Novick O’Keefe, Executive Director, Common Threads
www.commonthreads.com

Contact Simi Ranajee at simiranajee@aol.com for information on her children’s etiquette classes and new book, The World of Nice . . . A Guide on Etiquette for Children. This colorful, cleverly illustrated book is easy and fun to read for the whole family. Visit our Team of Experts page to learn more about Simi Ranajee.

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ARCHIVED ARTICLES

Contact us if you would like to receive a copy of a past issue

Guest Columns:
Issue #3: "Join the Trendsetters: Social Networking on the web"
by Sanjay Gupta (Consultant, Chicago, Illinois)

Issue #2: "The Key to a Successful Job Search: Making Personal Connections,"

by Karen Lamb, Assistant Director, Career Services, Arizona State University

(Global Protocol Advisory Board Member)

Issue #1: "European Protocol and Etiquette,
by Horst Kniesel," Retired, First Vice President, JP Morgan Chase Bank, N.A.

(Global Protocol Advisory Board Member)

Articles by Gloria Petersen

Issue #26: Holiday Celebration, Tipping, and Gifting Tips

Issue #25: The Three  Elements of Perception

Issue #24: Cell Phone Tips, Courtesies, and Dilemmas

Issue #23: Slowing Life’s Hectic Pace: The Japanese Way of Tea by Carin Manbeck
Issue #22: Using Interpreters:  The Invisible People
Issue #21: Holiday Tipping and Regifting
Issue #20: Untangling a Web of Confusion
Issue #19: Cross Oceanic Etiquette
Issue #18: Cell Phone Courtesy
Issue #17: Crossing Cultural Barriers
Issue #16: Mastering the International Dining Curve
Issue #15: The Flag: Showing Respect
Issue #14: Interpreters: The Invisible People
Issue #13: Make A Confident Impression with Your Greeting and Handshake
Issue #12: Business Entertaining with Grace, Confidence, and Control
Issue #11: Personal Marketing of Your Credentials - Interview Tips
Issue #10: How to Project Power, Presence, and Style with Finesse
Issue #9: Conference and Trade Show Protocol
Issue #8: The Dignity of a Name
Issue #7: Etiquette for a New Century
Issue #6: What Companies are Doing to Encourage & Reward Kindness & Respect
Issue #5: A Class-Act Celebration and Meet the BOBs: Client Profiles
Issue #4: Tech-Etiquette
Issue #3: Getting Ahead at the Office Party
Issue #2: Is Civility Dead in the Workplace? Gender Survival for Tricky Situations
Issue #1: Signs of the Times ... On a Historical Note